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Top Tips for divers.......
Disclaimer - Some of  these tips are tongue in cheek and not endorsed by the authors of this website

Punctured Buoy?

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Don't throw away your buoy if its got a small puncture - Use expanding foam to make it solid.
Ours took 2 cans, and is still going strong.

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Time for a slow Kit-Up?


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Most boats moor up to the wreck and the tide pulls the boat away from the buoy. 
Until the tide goes completely slack there is no way of really knowing when to kit up.


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We have used this method to determine exactly when the tide is starting to slow:
Attach a sliding weight onto the painter between the boat and the buoy. 
As the tide starts to slow, the weight exerts a force downwards which pulls the boat to the buoy.
When the boat starts to move toward the buoy it's time to kit up.
Tidal tolerance (how much tide you're prepared to tolerate) can be determined by how heavy a weight you place on the painter.  

Love your octopus

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One day we got onto site a bit late and we were forced to use a grapnel and our home-made shot (photo and building instructions to follow). Anyway, at the end of the dive the tide was running so strongly that the 2 divers tasked with freeing the grapnel and shot were dragged across the wreck by the tide every time the shot etc was freed. The idea was to drop the shot etc off the side of the wreck onto sand, and swim up the rope to the boat while the tide dragged everything. 
The tide grew stronger and stronger, Diver A (I've changed your name Henry to protect your identity) carried the shot etc while diver B (me) carried the grapnel. 
Diver A dropped the shot down a hole in the wreck, and while diver B tied off the rope he decided to cut his end of it and send the shot to the surface using a lift bag. Tying the bag was difficult as it was acting like a parachute, so A had to hold on with 1 hand. He was then faced with inflating the bag and getting over to the rope.
Not having an octopus, or being able to find his other reg (diving with a twin-set) he decided to hold his breath and use the reg from his mouth; which he then got stuck in the bag.
Diver B was unable to get across the wreck because of the tide, so his only option was to observe the drama unfold and when the reg was safely back in A's mouth waste too much gas laughing.
So if you are in the habit of using lifting bags, don't use the reg from your mouth to inflate it.

Leaky Mask

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Haven't you noticed that the more sun-cream you lather on your face the more your mask leaks?
What about wearing a nice hat instead........But bear in mind that wearing a baseball cap backwards reduces your IQ by 50% (according to Henry).
 

Why don't dive guides' regs free-flow all the time?

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How is it that dive guides use their regs 4/5 or more times a day for months or years on end, yet they rarely have problems? 
The answer - They never dry out properly.
What we can learn from this is that if we can keep our 2nd stages wet the internals will not completely dry out, this will stop salt crystallising and the o-rings failing. Therefore, keep your 2nd stages in water between dives and if they have to be stored, soak them in warm water first. 

Need a leak underwater, Brother?

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If you generally don't wear a nappy under your drysuit (let's face it how many real men would) and like us you can't find a catheter large enough, you may at some point get caught short underwater.
One of our divers found himself in this situation and came up with the Diving bell principal of taking a leak..........
The idea is to lay perfectly flat (he chose to lay on the wreck), undo your convenience zip, take a leak, zip up and then be on your merry way again. 
Good News! It worked
Bad News! It only worked up to the point where he got his undersuit caught in his zip!

Get your 5 a day

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Want to get your 5 a day underwater?
Yes you can; all you need is a banana and tight lips. 
Peel your banana and gently slip it between you lips, ensuring a seal is maintained. be careful not to bite off too much though as you will need to replace your DV to breath!

Get your 20 a day

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Fancy a smoke underwater?
Don't be daft your matches will get wet; besides we all know that smoking is bad for you......

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